If you’re active in the online dating world, then you have undoubtedly heard of Bumble. While Tinder remains the king of online dating apps, Bumble has carved out a solid niche for itself with its twist on the standard swipe-and-chat model. Bumble also has areas of the app devoted to just making friends and to job networking, rather than being all-meat-market, all-the-time. Bumble was founded by Whitney Wolfe, a female executive at Tinder, who left to start her own app. There are many apparent similarities between the way the apps work. For example, the matching process is nearly identical. You go through a stack of potential matches and then swipe right if you’re interested or swipe left if you’re not, and mutual right-swiping produces a match. Bumble even offers some of the same premium features that you can get on Tinder.
However, there is a vast difference in what happens next in Bumble.
Messaging on Bumble
- Messaging on Bumble
- Does the Guy Know There’s a Match?
- Is There a Way for the Guy to Show He’s Interested After a Match?
- A Few More Facts about Matching and Messaging
- A Final Word
On Tinder and most dating apps, in a male-female matchup, it is usually (though not always) the man who takes the initiative in starting the conversation. Some women even go so far as to put “I won’t message you first” in their profiles to signal that they expect a man to take the lead. In most cultures around the world, men are expected to take the lead in romantic relationships. However, on dating sites, this social norm can create a toxic climate. Most men on dating sites are respectful and behave appropriately, but some do not, and their behavior is not reliably predictable in advance just from seeing their profile. So for women, every right-swipe they send out is essentially giving a man permission to message them in a gross, rude, or inappropriate manner. The result is that women protect themselves by becoming more reluctant to swipe right and more cautious in their swiping habits, which slows down the momentum of the whole dating environment.
Bumble’s creators wanted to break this pattern. Their decision has been characterized as setting up Bumble as a “feminist dating app,” and in reality, there is some anecdotal evidence to support this idea. The rule they created, and enforce via the software for the app, is that when a match is made between a man and a woman, the woman is the only one who can start the conversation. This gives women control over who they want to start talking with (and when), and it also lets them set the conversational tone from the beginning. It is a small but significant adjustment of the power dynamic in the matching process.
Women have 24 hours after a match in order to decide to contact or not to communicate. If the woman does send a message, then the man also has 24 hours to respond. If either party doesn’t move within their 24-hour window, then the match expires; if both parties respond, then the match becomes durable and doesn’t expire at all, and the conversation can proceed at whatever pace the matched pair likes.
Does Bumble Have Read Receipts?
Bumble doesn’t have read receipts, so when you decide to talk to that cute guy, even if they see the message you will never know. Bumble does this so no one’s feelings get hurt, and it prevents spamming messages as well. Sometimes, when someone notices that their message was read, they will constantly ask again and again for the person to respond. This never works anyway, since the other person will likely just unmatch with you.
Does the Guy Know There’s a Match?
Given the slight advantage women have in this scenario, it is a natural question to ask: does the man even get notified that the match has been made? The answer is yes: when a match is established, both parties get a push notification. Whether in the app itself or from the notifications section of the phone, both parties will see an alert. However, the notification isn’t exactly the same for men and women. Only the woman gets the option to message the man, and only she has access to his profile; the man is simply told that he has a match. He doesn’t even get to see who the match was, other than as a blurred image in his Beeline, a state of affairs which will persist unless and until she sends a message.
What do guys see when you match on Bumble?
As mentioned, what a guy sees is different than what the girl sees when they get a potential match. For anyone curious what the man sees after the match, he sees something similar to the picture below:
Is There a Way for the Guy to Show He’s Interested After a Match?
Remember what I said above about cultural norms and social expectations? Well, it turns out that changing the power dynamic in a romantic situation isn’t as easy as just making a simple rule. Yes, a man has to wait for a woman to message him…but in practice, many women simply won’t send that first message unless there is some signaling of genuine interest on the part of the man. (Didn’t he already signal that by swiping right? Not really – a lot of guys on Bumble swipe right on everybody and sort it out later.) It’s psychologically just easier to send that first message if you’re reasonably sure that the other party is really looking forward to getting it.
So how can a man show real interest? He can’t send a message or a picture…but there are ways he can signal that he’s intrigued. One he has to do before the match, and the other he has to do afterward.
Method one: Super Swipes
This is a premium feature you will recognize as being borrowed (*cough*stolen*cough*) from Tinder. Super Swipes are similar to Tinder’s Super Likes. This feature lets a potential match know you really like them. By Super Swiping, a man can indicate to a woman that he is really interested – interested enough to spend a buck or two, because Super Likes cost money.
When a woman is going through her stack, she may come across a photo with a distinctive yellow icon. That indicates that the person in question Super Swiped her. When you know that someone Super Swiped you, you’re likelier to swipe right and establish a match. It is easier to start chatting with him then, as you know, for sure, your message will be welcome.
2. Extend the Match
Bumble lets users extend one match every day. This adds 24 hours to the remaining window for a conversation. If the man keeps using his daily extension, he can keep a match alive indefinitely, even if the woman hasn’t written him yet. Premium users have unlimited extensions. Although women and men can both use this feature, it is more useful to guys. Seeing that the guy invested in a match extension lets you know that he’s impressed by you and serves as an invitation for you to message him.
A man extending a match at all sends a signal to the woman that he’s really interested. Here’s a pro tip: if you aren’t a premium subscriber, put something in your bio along the lines of “I don’t have a premium account, so if I extend our match, I’m using my one daily extend to do it. It means I really like you.”
A Few More Facts about Matching and Messaging
Here are some other things you may be wondering about the matching process on Bumble.
Does the Guy Know You Swiped Right on Him?
If your potential match subscribes to the premium service, he has the option to filter his selection down to the people who have swiped right on him. This serves as a time-saver. Bumble users who live in busy areas prefer to cut straight to the selection of potential matches who have shown interest. However, Bumble doesn’t send a notification when you swipe right on someone. The guy will only know that you swiped right on him if your profile shows up in his filtered stack.
What If the 24 Hours Expire?
What happens if you don’t have time to message your match within 24 hours or if your match doesn’t have time to respond to you? An expired match will go back into your stack. That means that you may come across the same person’s profile again, as he’ll go back to being a potential match.
How Do You Write an Amazing Introductory Message?
Making your message as engaging as possible is very important. It is always a good idea to say something unique from the get-go. Avoid greetings and clichéd introductions. Remember that your match isn’t expecting to get swept off his feet right away. You should keep things casual and friendly. It’s a good idea to reference his bio or his photos, as that makes it easy for him to respond to you.
How Does the Messaging Process Work for Same-Sex Matches?
In the case of woman-man matches, the woman has to send a message first. But there is no such limitation for woman-woman matches or man-man matches. Either half of a same-sex match can send a message, as long as they do it within 24 hours after the match is established. The other person then has to write back within a day. This is also true for anyone using the Bumble BFF or Bumble Bizz modes that match you with potential friends or professional acquaintances.
Can guys rematch on Bumble?
Yes, if after 24hours you or the girl you’re interested in doesn’t respond to the mutual swipe request, then it goes back into your potential matches. However, if you swiped right on them and the girl swiped left, you won’t appear back in either match.
A Final Word
If you’re bored by traditional dating dynamics, Bumble is the perfect app for you. For one, it feels safer to use than other dating apps. Female Bumble users experience less harassment and invasive behavior from potential matches. If someone is being inappropriate, it’s easy to block and report them. The Bumble staff is also dedicated to getting rid of scams and catfishing. Most importantly, the Bumble app is engaging and empowering. The messaging process encourages confidence and quick decisions and offers every user a fun new experience.
Want more info on getting the most out of your Bumble experience?
Here’s our walkthrough on how to completely reset your Bumble account.
We’ve got an overview of how the Bumble algorithm works.
Made a mistake and swiped left? Learn how to backtrack on Bumble.
Did you take a screenshot of a profile? Find out if Bumble informs users when you screenshot them.
How many right swipes do you get on Bumble? We’ll tell you whether Bumble limits your likes and matches.
Here’s our guide to whether or not Bumble has read receipts for messages.
Of course, we have a guide on creating a great Bumble profile!
Ready to start writing but don’t know what to say? We’ll show you how to write a great first Bumble message.
If you want to take better pictures for your Tinder profiles, click here.