58 Great Instagram Captions for your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend
We get it. Break-ups are hard enough without seeing your ex’s incessant status updates about going out with friends and hooking up with new partners. But instead of shunning social media, consider firing back with a few stinging posts of your own. These Instagram captions are sure to get you started. It’s time to kiss your old life goodbye and embrace your sassy and sadder-but-wiser new life.
A Message to Your Ex
- The real reason I’m over you is because now I see who you really are.
- Don’t be sorry. Trusting you was my mistake, not yours.
- I was better than your ex. I’ll be better than your next.
- You let go of a diamond. Good luck collecting rocks.
- If I treated you the way you treated me, then you would hate me.
- Why is my sanity paying the price for your mistakes?
- You will search for me in another person, I promise.
- I tried. You didn’t. I’m done.
- Don’t get herpes this summer trying to make me jealous.
- You turned into everything you said you’d never be.
- Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
About the Breakup
- Our breakup was due to religious differences; she thought she was God and I didn’t.
- Jennifer Aniston got over Brad Pitt. I can get over you.
- Say goodbye and get yourself free.
- It’s not you. It’s that I finally realize, you’re terrible.
- Roses are red, violets are blue, we’re breaking up because I never loved you.
- If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, set them on fire.
- My girlfriend said she wanted me to be more like her ex. So I dumped her.
- I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost as if you’re here!
- I don’t miss him. I miss who I thought he was.
- “Love is a grave mental disease.” – Plato
- Love is unconditional, relationships are not.
- As soon as forever is through, I’ll be over you.
- “The hottest love has the coldest end.” – Socrates
- “No man is rich enough to buy back his past.” – Oscar Wilde
- “The heart will break, but broken live on.” – Lord Byron
About Your Ex’s New Love
- You can’t make me jealous of your man. If he was worth keeping, I would have.
- Be that hot ex-girlfriend that your ex-boyfriend’s new girl constantly stalks on social media.
- Oh, you’re dating my ex? Cool. I’m eating a sandwich – want those leftovers too?
- Are you dating my ex? I thought the five second rule only applied to food I dropped.
- Sometimes you miss the memories, not the person.
- It’s sad when people can walk past you and pretend you were never a big part of their life.
- Regret you? Nah. At one point you were exactly what I needed.
- You can never “just be friends” with someone you fell in love with.
Seeing Things Clearly
- Ever look at your ex and wonder if you were drunk the entire relationship?
- You learn more about someone at the end of a relationship than at the beginning.
- My ex is living proof of how stupid I can be.
- Never let an old flame burn you twice.
When They Ask You Back
- When your past calls, don’t answer. (It has nothing new to say).
- They always come back, especially when you’ve moved on.
- As soon as your ex sees you smiling, that’s the minute they want you back.
- Taking your ex back is like trying to put poop back into your butt.
- If you start to miss me, then remember that I didn’t walk away – you let me go.
- If an ex tells you they miss you, that means they failed to replace you.
Landing On Your Feet
- Sometimes a man’s purpose in a woman’s life is to help her become a better woman…for a different man.
- No boyfriend – no problems.
- Whatever, I’ll just date myself.
- If you’re happy and you know it, thank your ex!
Listen to the Experts
- “Now you’re just somebody that I used to know.” – Gotye
- “Ex boyfriends are just off limit to friends. I mean that’s just the rules of feminism.” – Mean Girls
- “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe
- “Never underestimate a man’s ability to make you feel guilty for his mistakes.” – Rihanna
- “There’s something wrong with your character if opportunity controls your loyalty.” – Sean Simmons
Let the Music Play
- “If you’re gonna let me down, let me down gently. Don’t pretend that you don’t want me. Our love ain’t water under the bridge.” – Adele
- “So I would choose to be with you. That’s if the choice were mine to make. But you can make decisions too, and you can have this heart to break.” – Billy Joel
- “Falling for you was my mistake.” – The Weeknd
- “I could put my arms around every boy I see, but they’d only remind me of you.” – Sinead O’Connor
- “Once upon a time I was falling in love. Now I’m only falling apart. There’s nothing I can do. Total eclipse of the heart.” – Bonnie Tyler
Of course, if you really want to make your ex jealous, consider not posting anything about him or her at all. Instead, just make sure you have some hot new shots of your and your friends living it up. Nothing says “I’m over you” like not giving someone the time of day.