How To Tell if Someone Read Your Message in Tinder
It’s always the subject of anguish, especially for the person who sent the first message in a Tinder exchange: has the person read my message? Is there a way for me to tell if they have? Can I find out for sure if someone has read or reacted to your opening line on the dating app? Or am I going to be left wondering forever?
Tinder has alleviated many of the challenges of dating but has also created some too. Like many social apps, it creates an anxiety that can make using the app more difficult than it should be and while no more difficult than dating in real life, still offers similar challenges, one of which is the fear of rejection.
For some, dating does not come naturally. The shy, the naturally reticent or introverted can have as much of a challenge on Tinder as they do in real life. The upside is that you don’t have to look the person in the eye to make that first move. This can be a big difference to shy users and be enough to allow them to reach out.
Did the recipient read your message on Tinder?
You may notice that there aren’t any status symbols on your Tinder conversations indicating whether your message has been sent, received, or read. This is intentional. Tinder used to have read receipts back when the app first launched but they were removed after user feedback (particularly from women). This is mixed news for users. Removing read receipts means you as the sender will never know of the person read it, laughed at it and moved on or hasn’t even seen the message. It also removes some of the anxiety of knowing a message has been read and nothing happens. It’s essentially the same worry but in a slight different and less confrontational form.
The lack of action even after you send an initial first message is normal for all online dating and not just Tinder. It is something we all have to get used to and come to terms with. Depending on your profile and how you approach dating, this could be the norm or more unusual. Either way, it’s all part of the fun that is online dating.
Paid read receipts
Starting in June of 2019, Tinder began rolling out a paid “read receipts” function in certain markets, apparently as a test. Not everyone is seeing this feature, but for those who do, it works like this.
Everyone (regardless of whether they have access to the feature or not) can turn Read Receipts on or off in their settings menu. If you leave the setting at its default (on), then someone who purchases read receipts can apply those receipts to your conversation, and they will start getting notifications that you have seen their messages. If you turn the setting off, then people will not be able to use a read receipt on your conversations.
Users in the test markets have reported seeing offers pop up for Read Receipts packages. The receipts packages work per-match – that is, once you’ve applied read receipts to a match, you’ll get receipts on all your messages to that match for as long as your conversation lasts.
Feedback in the Tinder user community has been somewhat negative about this feature; it’s been described as a “cash grab” and as “extortion” in recent days in Tinder user groups. Although it’s clear that people don’t like the thought of being charged for the service, it’s also clear that they wish they had the ability to get read receipts on all matches. It’s an area of contention in the Tinder community.
How to write Tinder messages that get a reply
Assuming that you aren’t going to shell out the money to be informed for sure whether your matches have gotten your messages, how can you increase the chances that they’ll reply?
There are a few things you can do to increase your chances of getting a reply to your messages in Tinder. While there is no such thing as ‘guaranteed success’, if you follow some of these tips, you stand a much better chance of hearing back and perhaps even meeting up for a date.
Here are a few things to try to get a reply on Tinder:
Plan it first
It is very easy to get caught up in the excitement of finding a match on Tinder but don’t get carried away. Try to restrain yourself a little and take the time to read their bio, check out all of their pics and build a picture of who they are in your mind. Use this picture to form your reply.
Use their profile
Take what you have learned about them and mention something in your message. If they play guitar and you do too, use that. If they love the same sports teams you do, use that in some way. If you share interests, jobs, fantasies, tastes or anything like that, mention it in your message.
People are far more likely to respond to a message from someone they already have common ground with. Dating is tough and if some of the hard work is done for you, like having something to talk about or even just break the ice with, psychologically that’s a big boost, for both of you.
If you don’t have obvious common ground, ask a question or show interest in them. If you can ask a humorous question all the better but as long as the question isn’t lame you should get some kind of response. Use what you see and compose a reasonably intelligent or funny question and send it. What have you got to lose?
Daters want people to find them interesting even if they are just on Tinder to hook up. Show interest in an intelligent way and you stand a much higher chance of getting a reply.
Use a GIF
Personally, I’m not a fan of GIFs. They are mainly dumb with maybe one in a hundred being amusing. However I know I am in the minority so if you have some funny GIFs, don’t be afraid to use them. I see lots of them in use on Tinder so don’t be afraid to use them in a message.
If you cannot think of any common ground or something funny to say and questions aren’t your thing, an amusing GIF that you think fits the situation might just work!
We’ve got a lot more Tinder resources for you to check out!
Having trouble getting matches? Here’s what to do if you’re getting no Tinder matches.
Are you a Gold subscriber, and wondering whether people can tell if you have Tinder Gold?
We’ve got a guide to determining whether someone is active on Tinder.
Here’s our tutorial on how Tinder Smart Photos work.
Hate swiping on a smartphone? Check out our walkthrough on using Tinder on your PC.