The Best Tinder Dad Jokes for Your Profile

Do you know the difference between a pot of glue, a piano, and a tuna? You can tuna piano, but you cannot piano a tuna. Now, you’re wondering about the pot of glue. Sure, we knew you’d get stuck on that. This is just one of the jokes that might up your Tinder game.

But getting the list of top Tinder dad jokes is no easy task. They need to be charming, not too corny, and yes, there shouldn’t be any kind of sexual innuendo. Since it all happens in the form of a chat, there should be at least some build-up to the joke. Anyway, here are the ones that made the cut.

1. The Boiler Died

Rest in piece boiling water. Thou will be sorely mist. On the surface, this one is almost too simple to cut the mustard. But if you take some time with this one and deliver it the right way, it flies without too much explanation.

2. Militant Goldfish

This dad joke is a true dad joke classic. There are two goldfish in a tank and one tells the other: “you man the gun and I’ll steer.” And again it’s all about the build-up. In general, you shouldn’t jump into a pun unless you have something that will blow the other party’s mind.

Credit: Photo by Kyaw Tun on Unsplash

3. Burglar Wife

There is some story-telling with the burglar wife joke. But it gives you a chance to stress that you are single and funny. Here’s a quick recap.

In the middle of the night, my wife alarms me: “Honey, there are burglars in the house.” I ran downstairs only to realize – I don’t have a wife. By the time I got back to the bedroom, my computer and stereo were gone.

4. Blind Deer

The blind deer joke is borderline corny, but it landed on the list because it’s an oldie but goldie. “What do you call a deer without eyes? I have no eye deer.” And if the other party knows the response, use that as a follow-up to another joke or compliment.

5. Tie the Knot in Space

What was the satellite marriage ceremony like? The reception was out of this world, but the ceremony wasn’t much. A genuine dad joke, indeed, though it is one of those that need proper timing. And you won’t go around telling it to every Tinder date.

6. Prison Communication

How do prisoners communicate with each other? They use cell phones. It’s hard to get more dad joke than this, and you can just tell it in the middle of the conversation. Just don’t forget to include a small disclaimer, unless you want to be frank about doing some time.

7. Velcro

Don’t buy anything Velcro. It’s a complete rip-off. As far as the Tinder dad jokes go, this one ticks all the right boxes. It’s easy to incorporate into a chat and it’s not an in-your-face thing. In other words, it might pass without being picked up as dad joke. After all, the point is in making you look funny, not good at telling jokes.

8. Sick Pony

What is a pony with a sore throat called? A little horse. Let’s say your potential date is not feeling on the mend. What to do to cheer him or her up? Crack the pony joke because it’s cute, fast, and doesn’t sound weird in that context.

9. Pinocchio

Why don’t people have 12-inch noses? Because those would be feet. To be honest, this one might be tricky to fit into a Tinder chat. But if you use it to be funny about your nose, it should be just fine.

10. Hungry Fonzie

Where does Fonzie have lunch? At Chick-Fil-Eyyyyyy. When you use this joke just make sure the other person knows the Happy Days sitcom. In fact, it can be a good follow-up after you small-talk about your favorite Happy Days moments.

11. Noodle What?

What’s the name of a fake noodle? The Impasta. The question of who doesn’t like noodles and other foods is bound to come up in the chat. But remember, you need to take things slow and place joke at the right moment.

Credit: Photo by Debbie Tea on Unsplash

12. The Neighborhood 

What’s the name of a fishy Italian neighborhood? The Spaghetto. One can never get enough of the food-related dad jokes.

13. Winter Wonders

What does the combination of a vampire and a snowman get you? ‌A frostbite. Simple, catchy, and easy to place, this joke is among the top five for sure. But this is not something you’d use on Tinder in the middle of the summer. On the other hand, vampires don’t seem to go out of fashion.

Credit: Photo by Azzurra Visaggio on Unsplash

14. Jailhouse Social Media

Should prisoners take the mug shots themselves, they would be called cellfies. As you might guess, just nail the timing and this one will hit the right nerve.

Dad Jokes Galore

Out of all the Tinder pick-up lines, the dad jokes are probably the most benign. And if you play the cards right, they won’t land on a deaf ear.

Which dad jokes do you like the most? Have you tried any other jokes on Tinder? Tell us how it worked for you in the comments section below.