Despite Tinder not being just for hooking up, a good percentage of the people who use the app are there for just that. You will still need some basic people skills and a few tips to get anywhere on Tinder though. That is what we are going to discuss today in ‘How to increase your chances of a Tinder hookup’.
Also see our article How to Find Out who Super Liked You on Tinder
I don’t guarantee success as nobody can do that. What I will say is that if you follow some of the tips in this article you stand a much higher chance of success when using Tinder. So if you don’t seem to have much success so far, or girls or boys drift away without wanting a meet, or you just don’t know how to flirt on an app, this article is for you!
Get your profile right
Tinder is all about the looks but your profile still matters. It contains your lead image and any supporting images that will decide which direction someone might swipe. It is vital that you paint a very flattering portrait but without lying or misleading.
Making Tinder work for you is an exercise in marketing with you as the product. Therefore you need to make your lead image a good one. Make it a headshot with only you in it, make sure you’re smiling, wearing something nice, clean and well presented. For the other five image slots, do the same thing but in a more relaxed way. Show yourself doing a hobby, walking the dog somewhere nice, out with your friends having a drink or whatever you do. Again, be accurate but be selective. Think about what someone might think when they see them.
Once you have the images, you now have up to 500 words to describe yourself in a bio. Keep it positive and don’t tell people what you don’t want as the swipe controls that. Try gentle self-deprecation as it always comes across well and a little humor if you can. Keep it short, succinct but entertaining. If you have a friend you trust, have them proofread it before publishing it to see how it reads to someone else.
Tinder swiping strategy
Tinder is all about the swiping right? What Tinder doesn’t tell you when you’re viewing profile cards as that those that appear early in your queue have already swiped right on you. The people behind Tinder want it to look successful, so they load the deck so those who are most likely to want to hook up with you appear early.
Never swipe without thinking. One thing I would definitely advise is to never take swiping as anything less than serious. It is tempting to just flick left and right without thinking. Sometimes there are obvious incompatibilities so a left swipe is a no-brainer. Other times, a little thought is required. Never take it for granted and think about your choices as they are not unlimited.
Starting a conversation on Tinder
The next big hurdle is starting a conversation. What do you say? How do you say it? Do not begin with a simple ‘Hi’ or ‘Hello’. Do not begin with a request for sex or reference a sexual act. Be cool.
Your opener should be:
Different – The person probably has dozens of people wanting to chat to them. Being lost in the other ‘hello’ openers is not going to work.
Emotional – You want the person to feel something when they read your message, even if it is only a spark of interest or curiosity.
Tailored to their bio – This goes a long way to proving you actually read their bio and made an effort rather than looking at the T&A or the six pack in the image.
Make the message a tiny bit flirty and friendly. For example, if a girl just moved to the area, ask her what prompted the move and if she has tried that great pizza place on 4th Street. If a guy loves football ask him if he watched the game on Sunday and whether he is going to a tailgate party at the weekend.
Both messages show real interest, a little bit of flirting and are friendly. They are also likely to stand head and shoulders above the majority of messages they receive! They also segue nicely into setting up a meet, which is vital.
Setting a date
By date I mean a time and place for a hookup, formal date or coffee, whatever. Not everyone is comfortable being forward and discussing hooking up openly even though they use Tinder. It’s a good idea to bring up the idea of a meet early in the conversation so they get used to the idea by referencing it loosely or as a throwaway comment. This plants the seed of the idea which you can feed during your chat.
This does two things. It gets them thinking about the reality of meeting you and allows you to stand out from the usual Tinder chat noise. Rather than giving them a stark choice at the end of a chat, you have created the environment when meeting up seems like the next logical step.
Slip a love of coffee, of walking your dog, shopping at the mall, people watching, running or whatever into the conversation. Then depending on what the other person says, you can segue into doing it together. Leave the comment to grow and go from there.
‘I can’t chat for long as I have to walk my dog but I definitely wanted to say hi’.
‘Oh where do you walk your dog?’
‘At the part/beach/wild land’.
‘You mean that place close to…?’
‘Yes that one. Hey,. that could be a cool first date. What kind of dog do you have?’
By mentioning it and then moving on by asking about their dog, you plant the seed and show interest in their life at the same time. Swap dog for whatever hobby or interest you might share and go from there.
Tinder is both a rich pool of opportunity and cesspool of the dregs of humanity. It can be easy to stand head and shoulders above the mediocre but sometimes you have to go a little further to be noticed. If you follow the tips in this guide, get your images right, write a cool profile and don’t be an idiot when chatting then you should have no trouble meeting someone for a date, hookup or whatever.
Just remember to be safe in every meaning of the word!