100 Christmas Captions for Instagram and Facebook

Posted by Heather on November 26, 2019
100 Christmas Captions for Instagram and Facebook

The Christmas season is upon us. We all have different ways of celebrating (or just getting through) the holiday season, so what one person does for Christmas may not be how another person handles the holidays. Maybe your heart overflows with joy and happiness, and then again, maybe you’d rather just hide in a nice warm blanket with fuzzy socks on and hibernate until it’s over.

Either way, the holiday season comes and goes every year, and so we’ve gathered up a list of Christmas and holiday captions for you to use on your Instagram and Facebook pages, with different messages to match your moods, whatever they may be. When you want to caption those seasonal moments you can use the ideas we’ve collected for you, ranging from sentimental to witty and sarcastic. Some of them are even pet-friendly. Have a look at our picks!


  • What happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe.
  • May this holiday season sparkle and shine and may all your wishes and dreams come true, Merry Christmas.
  • Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
  • I’ll never outgrow the excitement of looking out my window and seeing falling snow.
  • I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.
  • I’m only a morning person on December 25th.
  • Like snowflakes, my memories gather and dance: each beautiful, unique, and too soon gone.
  • Merry everything and happy always.
  • Feliz – Naughty Dog
  • Fairy lights on winter nights.
  • Sweater weather is better together.
  • I’d rather shovel sand than snow.
  • It is the season to Sparkle.

  • When You Say Blizzard, We Think Dairy Queen – Florida
  • I Have O.C.D. – Obsessive Christmas Disorder
  • Drink up Grinches
  • Christmas Magic is Silent.  You don’t Hear it.  You Feel it.  You Know it. You Believe it.
  • Fizz the Season
  • I Hope Rudolph Eats the Naughty List.
  • Kindness is Free, Sprinkle that Stuff Everywhere.
  • If Kisses were Snowflakes, I’d Send You a Blizzard.
  • Make it a December to Remember.
  • The Best Way to Spread Christmas Cheer is to Sing Loud for All to Hear.
  • Merry Christmas, Ya Filthy Animal.

  • It’s Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas.
  • Winter Wonderland.
  • Merry Elfin Christmas.
  • Let’s Put the Rum in Pa-Rum Pum Pum Pum.
  • I don’t know if There’ll Be Snow but Have a Cup of Cheer.
  • Maybe Christmas Doesn’t Come from a Store; Perhaps it Means a Bit More.
  • Seeing is Believing, but Sometimes the Most Real Things in the World are the Things We Can’t See.
  • I was Cold, so I made an Igloo.
  • Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way!
  • Did You Ever See a Talking Snowman?
  • Sleigh-it in

  • Thank Goodness Your Home, the Christmas Tree Fainted.
  • There are Two Kinds of People in This World and I Don’t Like Them.
  • Ho, Ho, Ho – Merry Christmas.
  • Nothing says holiday like a cheese log.
  • Dear Santa, I Want New Owners.
  • Maybe Hot Chocolate Wants to be Called Beautiful Chocolate Just One Time.
  • Christmas Tree O’ Christmas Tree Your Ornaments are History.
  • Dear Santa, Is it Too Late Now to Say Sorry?
  • When What to My Wandering Eyes Should Appear…but 10 Extra Pounds on Hips, Thighs and Rear.
  • Santa Saw Your Instagram Pictures. You’re Getting Clothes and a Bible for Christmas.
  • I Hope One of The Elves Brought Xanax.
  • Smile Like You Mean It. This is How We Earn Our Presents.
  • That’s Too Small to Fit a Pony.
  • Mom Why is This Old Guy Trying to Get in on Our hug?  He’s Creeping Me Out.
  • OMG!  I See Santa, Hurry up, Pretend to be Good.


Having trouble explaining just what it is you want for Christmas?  Well, we’re sure your Facebook page says it all.  Here are some captions you may want to use.

  • If a fat guy grabs you and puts you in a bag, don’t worry: I told Santa I wanted a Good Friend for Christmas.
  • Too bad we can’t gift wrap common sense.
  • Friends like you make the season bright, Merry Christmas.
  • To all my Friends Merry Christmas.
  • Keep Calm and Have a Merry Christmas.
  • It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.
  • Christmas is not as much opening presents as it is opening our hearts.
  • Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly Merry Christmas.
  • Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle.
  • Single Bells, Single Bells, Single All the Way.  Oh, what fun it is to see couples fight all day, hey!
  • Sweet but twisted.  Does that Make me a Candy Cane?
  • Christmas is Coming.

  • Being Related to Me is Really the Only Gift You Need.  Just Saying.
  • Baby, it’s Cold Outside.
  • Feast Mode
  • The World Changes When it Snows.
  • No Matter How Old You Are, an Empty Christmas Wrapping Paper Tube is Still Fun to Bonk Someone on the Head with.
  • Hot Chocolate Weather
  • All I want for Christmas is to Punch You.
  • Going on Santa’s Naughty List in 3, 2, 1…
  • Puts Selfie on Top of Christmas Tree Because I am the Star.
  • Blankets + Fuzzy Socks
  • Happy Howlidays
  • Every Time a Bell Rings an Angel Gets its Wings.
  • Merry Christmas You Cotton Headed Ninny Nuggins.
  • Dear Santa, I’ve Been Good All year.  Most of the Time. Once in a While.  Nevermind, I’ll Buy My Own Stuff.
  • I Couldn’t Figure Out What to Get You So, I Didn’t Get You Anything.
  • Permanently on Naughty List and Loving Every Minute of it.
  • Ow! Son of a Nutcracker!
  • If a Telemarketer Calls Give the Phone to Your Kids and Tell Them its Santa.
  • Being Good for Goodness’ Sake was not Enough Motivation.

  • I had the Christmas Spirit Exorcised.
  • They say Money Talks but Mine Just Waves Goodbye.
  • May Your Holidays be Filled with as Much Cheer as Your Dosage Allows.
  • When Someone Asks “Where is Your Christmas Spirit?” is it Wrong to Point to the Liquor Cabinet?
  • Yippee! I don’t Have to Use the Alarm Clock Tomorrow.
  • Swollen Ankles: Nature’s own Stocking Stuffers.
  • Last year I asked Santa for the Most Awesome Person Ever for Christmas, Next Day I Woke up in a Box.
  • Are you Yeti for Christmas?
  • Grandma Got Run Over by A Reindeer.  8 More Lives to Go.
  • Dear Santa, define ‘nice.’
  • Christmas Always is as We Stand Heart to Heart, Hand in Hand.
  • Friends are Like Christmas Lights.  Some are Broke. Others Just Don’t Work for You and There are Others That Make Your Day Shine Bright.
  • You Know What I Want for Christmas?  A New Frigging Job.
  • If There isn’t an iPad Under the Tree, I’m Going Back to Bed.
  • There’s a Fine Line Between a Hug and a Choke Hold.
  • You Trimmed the Tree With Snacks Mom, What Did You Expect?
  • I Really Hope Santa Gets Me Pants for Christmas.
  • One of The Most Glorious Messes in the World is the Mess Created in the Living Room on Christmas Day. Don’t Clean it up Too Quickly.
  • Christmas is not an External Event at all, but a Piece of One’s Home that One Carries in One’s Heart.

That about wraps it up.  Please don’t hesitate to use some of our suggested captions and see how they go over.  Let us know if you’ve got any favorite captions of your own!

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