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How to Tell if Someone Unmatched You on Tinder

Posted by Robert Hayes on March 15, 2019

Tinder and similar dating apps have revolutionized the dating and mating world. It seems like just about every single person out there is on Tinder, looking for Mr(s). Right or at least Mr(s). Right Now. With almost 60 million active users as of March 2019, and more than 1.6 billion swipes per day, Tinder is playing an enormous role in the romantic lives of people all over the world. But with all the technological changes that have occurred, some things remain the same, and one of those things is heartbreak and rejection. People match on Tinder…but they also unmatch. And because Tinder doesn’t give you an explicit message to tell you that you’ve been unmatched, sometimes it’s a little confusing as to what happened. In this article, I will tell you how to tell whether you’ve been unmatched. (If you’re using Bumble instead of or in addition to Tinder, you might want to read our article on how to tell if someone unmatched you on Bumble.)

Unmatching is just a fact of life. Even when people meet in person first and know immediately whether there is chemistry between a couple, relationships go south or never get started in the first place. Sometimes it’s just a difference in the way people look at the world, or a conflict of lifestyles or values. Other times, although there is an attraction, things just don’t work out. So it should be no surprise that in an app, where there really isn’t any way to gauge compatibility other than “she looks pretty” / “he’s funny in chat”, a lot of the time matches simply never go anywhere and someone ends up unmatching. It happens, it isn’t the end of the world, and it would be super helpful if people could just be mature and say “hey, you seem nice, but I don’t think this is going anywhere so I’m going to move on. Best wishes!” before they unmatch. Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen very often, and most of the time an unmatching is done without warning, and sometimes right in the middle of a conversation that one person thought was going really well.

It’s very exciting to receive a match in Tinder. It means a new beginning, a new conversation, getting to introduce yourselves to one another and sharing that connection. This can lead to plenty of great conversations—and potentially great dates—often times you’ll find a connection isn’t properly made, or is lost in translation between two users. If you’ve ever found yourself in a conversation with another Tinder user, only to find they’ve suddenly disappeared, or you’ve received a notification of a new match, only to open your app and find a lack of new notifications, this is the guide for you. Here’s how to tell if you’ve been unmatched on Tinder.

Tinder Reboot

The first thing to do is to rule out a glitch. Tinder isn’t perfect, and like all software, glitches happen. To make sure that your disappearing match wasn’t just an error, start out by closing and restarting the Tinder application on your phone. (Be sure to check out our article on whether Tinder erased your match.)

On iOS, this is done by double-tapping on the Home button on the iPhone 8 and earlier. On later models, you’ll need to either swipe up from the bottom of the display and hold your finger for a moment, or swipe up and to the right to open your list of apps. Find the Tinder application in your list of running apps on your phone and swipe up to force close the app from your device (on the iPhone X, you’ll need to long press on the app and click the red X in the corner of the app). Once you’ve successfully close the application, restart the app to see if the conversation and match have returned to your account.

On Android, most devices have a dedicated Recent Apps button, either on the hardware of the device or within the virtual buttons on the display. Unlike iOS, apps are presented in a vertical carousel. Force closing an app is completed the same way as iOS—swipe away the app from your list. On Android, you can also go into your App settings to force close the app without swiping it away from your Recent Apps.

Once you’ve stopped the app from running, cleared the app from your device, reopen it and check both your conversations and your notifications. It’s possible a missing conversation or match notification was an error. If your missing conversation or notification haven’t reemerged after restarting the app, then the other person unmatched you.

Consider Yourself Blocked

Sometimes when you’ve been unmatched, you might feel determined to find that lost connection again. Although it’s understandable that someone might feel this way, it’s really not productive. They unmatched for a reason, and whether you agree with the reason or not isn’t really relevant. Love is something that has to flow naturally; it can’t be compelled or argued. And in any case, once people have unmatched, Tinder flags their accounts for one another, so that they don’t show up again in the card stack. Once the other person has unmatched you, you’re not going to see them again without an account reset.

Ready to Start Over?

It is possible that you might see the other person again on Tinder, if one or both of you resets their account. Account resets clear all those blocks and flags. If you want to reset your account, you can read our tutorial on how to reset your Tinder account. If you’re thinking of resetting your account because you want to get rid of all your current matches, then before you take a drastic step, read our tutorial on how to delete all your Tinder matches.

Dealing With It

The truth is that everybody gets unmatched. Hey, even Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston broke up – it doesn’t matter how good-looking, or wonderful, or smart, or rich, or whatever you are – not everyone is going to want to be with you and that is OK. The right person may still be out there, you just have to find them. That’s why, after an unmatch, you really shouldn’t roll up in a ball and eat ice cream while crying in front of a rom-com. If that match had been right for you, they’d still be in your life. Instead, you should get back on the horse and find the person who IS right for you.

Reasons for Unmatching

One big cause of stress in an unmatching is that we don’t know why it happens, usually. Sometimes we can guess; “was it the hilarious joke I just made in chat about how fat she looks in her pictures?” Yeah, that was probably it. Other times we’re completely clueless; things seemed to be going great, your match’s last message was them telling you how funny you are or how much they’re enjoying the conversation, and then boom. Once in a great while, we know for sure because they tell us: “I just found out my long-lost husband wasn’t dead, he was on a desert island after his plane crashed, and he’s coming home! So I’m getting off Tinder.”

Aside from the anxiety and uncertainty of not knowing, figuring out why someone unmatched can be helpful to us because it lets us know where we need to improve our presentation or what things we need to work on. (“Maybe the joke I thought was hilarious is actually really annoying to the person it makes fun of.”) One approach is to ask your friends to review your conversations and see if they can spot clues of an impending unmatch that you didn’t pick up on. (“Sarah, in the chat you kept saying that short men sicken you, and in his profile it clearly says that he’s 5’6”.)

Getting Back on the Horse

The best revenge, they say, is living well, and the best way to get over being unmatched is to go out and generate a bunch more matches. Of course, that’s not always the easiest thing to do. How can you get more matches on Tinder? (One way is to read our article on getting more matches on Tinder!) There are basically three things you can do:

  • Better pictures
  • Better profile/bio text
  • Better expectations

Getting better pictures is absolutely crucial. Your pictures are the first thing that potential matches see. It’s really the main thing that they can evaluate you on. Fortunately, we’ve got your back on this one. Check out our articles on how to pick a great Tinder picture and how Smart Photos work on Tinder.

Developing a great bio is also important. Your pictures get them in the door, your bio convinces them to seal the deal. We have you covered here as well, with articles on why your bio is important and what a good bio looks like on any dating site. We’ve also go an article with some suggestions for writing a funny bio.

Finally, managing your expectations. I have a male friend – nice guy in his late 30s, reasonably handsome, has a decent job – who complained that he couldn’t get any matches. I looked at his profile and guess what? His age range was set to 19-23, and his distance was set to 5 miles, in a relatively small community, and he swiped left on anybody with less than supermodel looks. Now, is it impossible for a fairly regular guy approaching middle age to partner up with a young, staggeringly beautiful woman who happens to live just up the street from him? No, it isn’t impossible – but those aren’t betting odds. I am not saying that you need to swipe right on everyone who comes your way, but you have to understand how the Tinder algorithms work.

You only see people who meet your criteria, and it works both ways – if those 19 year old girls had set their parameters to exclude men over 25, they wouldn’t be seeing my friend. So not only is he only seeing a small portion of the women in his area, only a small portion of THAT small portion are seeing him. So you want to include as many people as you could reasonably be attracted to in your geographic and age criteria. You can always left-swipe on anyone who doesn’t suit you, and in fact the way the Tinder algorithms work, you are BETTER OFF swiping left on at least some people. Otherwise you look desperate and the algorithm deprecates your score.

You may have been unmatched, but with these tips you’ll be back out there meeting new people in no time!

13 thoughts on “How to Tell if Someone Unmatched You on Tinder”

Ali says:
Just matched with someone last night, we talked & it was all good. He is leaving town today so we decided to add each other on social media but he said he has 0 of that. Went to check messages & now the match is gone? …. Guess he unmatched lol rude
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Aboutagirl says:
For quite a few matches now when I followup with a guy offline they almost immediately (a day or two) “delete the app” I asked if they unmatched, but they tell me no they delted it in general. Most can’t seem to keep their dates or constantly reschedule but keep checking in. Not sure what the point of this is.
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SingleLady says:
Aboutagirl – this just happened to me too. Now has my cell phone #, also says he “deleted the app” when I wanted to look up how far away he was before we met and saw he no longer showed on my message board. We had a lot of back and forth about meeting tonight via regular texts down to “10 minutes away” but, 2 hours later, no-show. Really curious why he would do all that back and forth this evening about meeting if he didn’t plan to show?
If it is a fake profile (not who they say they are) and the person just wanted the flirting or photos or whatever….he already had that. Why continue with a fake date plan? Would love to hear if someone else has a theory.
Have another guy who is willing to send photos “wherever and whenever” to prove he is real….but also keeps checking in but won’t actually make a plan to meet. What the?
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P says:
There’s a guy who unmatched me but it was completely my fault. I was just trying to be a little aloof. He seemed to be a decent and shy guy who knew how to talk respectfully and didn’t make me feel awkward at all. He was pretty much looking for a serious relationship. I told him that I wasn’t too serious because I am going to graduate soon and possibly be moving for a job. There was this instant regret feeling after saying that. He unmatched me the next day around noon which I agree was a right thing to do. I had planned to ask him on a date as I had indirectly said no when he asked me to meet. When I saw his profile was gone and the gut feeling was like a lost something important. Do you guys think it’s worth getting a new profile to ask him out? Would it be too desperate or stalker-ish?
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Laura says:
I matched with a guy once and we ended up meeting in person and fooling around. Later i tried to look for his profile to show my friend and it disappeared ! Bit embarrassing if he found it so unpleasant so as to unmatch, but perhaps he just figured he was done with it anyways. Either way it made me feel a little weird at first. There’s plenty reasons for people to unmatch though so i suppose it shouldn’t be taken to heart.
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Dario Nacken says:
I am currently in Japan just looking for people to hang out with and I get matched with quite a lot of girls that just unmatch me as soon as I write something.. it’s so frustrating..
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joe says:
I matched with a girl today and we started talking and she asked me if i wanted i one-night stand or a serious relationship and i answerd maybe both. She then replied that she wanted more picctures through snapchat i sent the pics and when i was back..pofff gone she was. She hasen’t opened that snapchats yet…what do u guys think happened?
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Judy says:
I matched a guy and we set up a date, place and time and he disappeared from tinder on the day of the date. Do I still go?
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Laura says:
NO WAY!!!!!
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SingleLady says:
Judy–same happened to me-see above
Sash says:
My ex partner currently has criminal charges of strangulation and domestic violence charges against him. He is also carrying STD’ s This man is dangerous, 1 day after attacking me he was on tinder. A friend made a few fake profiles and accounts, she reported him. I also created an account simply to find him and reported him to be removed.
How do I find out if this person has been removed from Tinder. I fear for the innocent woman out there. He is a cruel znarcissist and no one should have to go through the taugcher this man put me through.
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Ashley says:
Was his name christian?
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Kate says:
Was he in Charleston by chance?
Miri Atkinson says:
I matched a guy and met him-we’ve dated. Now that I have a way to communicate outside of Tinder, would this person get offended if I unmatch the profile?
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Donny Shepard says:
Ask him.
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Artur Mas i Gavarró says:
I’ve been unmatched by a girl, and I saw her profile again…. I swap on the right but the rematch didn’t happen. What does it mean ???
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Kura says:
Buddy. Means she didn’t swipe right this time.
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Jennifer says:
I matched with someone once the other day and he said one thing to me to which I replied but spelled incorrectly. I noticed I did that and jokingly spelled it right and said “delayed reaction” I was busy but it looked like a got a response from him that I was going to check back later. Next thing I knew he was gone! I have no idea what I could have possibly been wrong and I know it’s not good to dwell on it or anything but I just got out of a really long marriage and I’m pretty down on myself right now. If he doesn’t know me fine but he lives close by and a lot of my ex’s friends are on Tinder. My biggest fear is someone spoke with him and said something bad about me. I have no idea what kind of answer I’m looking for in this unless you could possibly see I did anything wrong. Feeling low.
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Andreas says:
Sorry to hear that. Not sure I have any advice, I’m afraid. Doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong. I didn’t go through the same thing exactly, but I did experience someone unmatching me (I assume that’s what happened), and it breaks my heart, honestly.
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Sue Londesbrough says:
I was chatting with a guy last night we were a match and the conversation just disappeared. Today I have got his profile again and don’t know whether to like him again. What’s happened?
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Jacqueline renshW says:
Please find a guy that when I pressed to read is message it just cleared on sat13thjan around 8:15 pm his name was wayne please find this match and add him back to my messsges thank you
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D. Piper says:
No one can do that for you, unfortunately.
Bhagyashree Gharat says:
I can see the person in match and can even see the past chat but I am not able to see the profile of that person
Does it mean I have been unmatch from the persons account on Tinder
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Rahul says:
Seems like it..I have been there as well 🙂
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Missy says:
No, they probably made thsves undiscoverable likebi did myself and that means you can see matches and convos but they cannot see my profile! I have it hidden!!

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